Next month my husband turns 65, an age that used to feel ancient to me. That’s when people officially retire because they’ve reached old age, get their Medicare card to help with health care costs and join the senior citizens’ club. In fact, he became one of the 10,000 people each day who sign up to receive Social Security and Medicare. Wow – think we’re experiencing a national entitlement crisis?
Meanwhile, where did all the years go? He was 38 when we got married and somehow he’s still 38 to me. He pretty much does everything now that he did then. Come to think of it, I still feel 33, maybe 36, but certainly in my mid 30s even though the calendar year insists I’m 57. 57!
My mother always told me this would happen, that I’d feel like the same person inside regardless of the calendar year. Not everything’s the same though. Back during my original 30s I worked constantly, spent a lot of down time shopping and enjoyed participating in the night scene. These days I have very little interest in shopping and my drive to succeed has waned, making space for new interests to develop.
Sometimes I think I enjoy my life more now than back then, I feel more peaceful and comfortable with myself. The thrilling highs come from different things now. And I’m not talking drugs – then or now. I’m talking about events that inspire euphoria.
Today’s baby boomers are yesterday’s hippy generation. We’re still rebellious, forging new paths. We don’t feel old at age 50. We feel adventurous and highly conscious of good health.
Television shows don’t target the over 55 age group, but they’re behind the times. We’re the demographic with the most expendable dollars and the adventurous spirit to try new things and go new places. Travel companies are now recognizing that, so are magazines and beauty products. Pay attention to greenways and notice the 50+ crowd on bicycles, roller blades, running and walking. Advertisers are picking up on the trend and it’s high time. Research finds that we’re exercising twice as much as earlier generations.
I’ve accepted that I’m getting older and the reality doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the anticipation did. It’s still a little freaky that my husband will soon be 65, just like every one of his other age milestones stabbed me…. 50, 60, because he always hits the big number before I do, his age becomes my crisis. So when it’s my turn, it’s no big deal. Sort of like a dry run.
Here’s what we know… somebody turns 50 every 8 seconds. People age 65 and older now exceed 35 million and growing. Last January introduced the first of some 77 million baby boomers surging toward retirement.
America is growing older.
How do you feel about aging?
my body hurts!
My sweet husband Bill is the same age as your hubby, and I am the same age as you. It is a glorious time! But it is also quite scary being this old. Can you imagine what it’s like to be my mom’s age? I just got done talking with her about her health – she’s fine, but dang, she’s 86 1/2. What does she think about when she wakes up at 3 a.m. with an unfamiliar ache, or a nightmare? So as scary as it is being 57, I try to think, “What would Mom do if she could be my age again? Almost 30 years younger!” So I try to keep it in perspective. Thank God we have the WWW to stay in touch.
Yeah, my father is 88 and hasn’t aged well at all. He’s terrified of dying and being in a hospital. Can’t even get him to talk about end of life care and extraordinary means of staying alive. All he says is “if there’s hope I want to stay alive.” Hope for what? He doesn’t know. Considering my life 30 years from now is a tough thing to do – and to realize there may not be much more than 30 years ahead… if that.
Lots of thoughts here… my father was terrified of dying as well but thanks to hospice care and the loving care of two daughters his slow death (six months) was relatively smooth. Hospice was a god send for both of my parents as each needed different types of care and attention but the support was there in terms of meeting almost each and every need-mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. I have chosen to give back and now provide hospice support to a family. I guess life eventually goes full circle.
Marianne, you and I go waaaaaay back. Amazing how the years have flown by, isn’t it? How are you enjoying your hospice experience?
LIke you, I watch my husband get older first. For me it is 17 years difference. He amazes me and inspires me to not grow old physically because he is a very young 74. Sometimes I feel very much older than he is.
Different things matter now or maybe we have worked through a lot of other things already. It is no longer about fitting in to cultural demands but meeting our personal goals while we still can.
Yeah Jo, your husband has more energy than many of us!
In preparation, at 49 I bought an old book at the library… “Women on Turning 50”. Famous women’s thoughts on aging. How inspiring it was. An underlying theme was that our bodies may defy us, but we get more wisdom, peace, and patience in return. So now, I look forward every year to being a better version of myself!
Amy, I have that book. It’s got Charlayne Hunter-Gault in the upper left corner? It’s one of my faves.
I was wrong, it’s actually “On Women Turning 50”. My copy has Gloria Steinem in the top left corner, but Charlayne Hunter – Gault contributed. Her inspiring words; “It’s very important to have another woman friend or friends who are the same age or just a little older . . . Let’s face it, not all women in their fifties are healthy or positive. We can help each other by sharing our own positive ideas and attitudes.”
Go Charlayne!!