My neighbor was walking the neighborhood this morning with her grown daughter, deep in conversation as they passed by Pogo and me. We share the daily ritual most days – usually my neighbor is with her husband and dog. On weekends her daughter joins her. It seems they use the time to catch up on intimacies from the past week as they lead their independent lives.
“A mother’s treasure is her daughter. “~ Catherine Pulsifer
Watching that close repartee sparked a yearning for the same. I miss that kind of friendship between mother and daughter, a relationship I never actually experienced. I’m not sure how you can miss what you never really had, but somehow I do.
“The mother-daughter relationship is the most complex.” ~Wynonna Judd
My mother was my biggest supporter as a child; she schlepped me to one audition after another as I chased my dream of being on stage. And after each rejection she comforted my heartbreak by telling me that someday she just knew my time would come. Just persevere.
And when my heart was breaking from a boy I loved who wouldn’t be mine, it was my mother who helped me recognize that life wasn’t over. And it was also she who comforted the boys that loved me but weren’t able to win my heart. She counseled them on the phone and encouraged them to move on.
It was also my mother, and only my mother, who came to my piano recitals, choir performances, plays (as a chorus member), and later – talent shows and performances at college. She rooted for me in everything I did and felt that I could hang the moon if I wanted to.
“1 mother + 1 daughter = 2 best friends” author unknown
But she was never my friend. As I grew older we continued to talk, but we grew farther apart never really learning much about what makes the other tick. She was consumed with her frustrations and I with a need to offer her ways out of them, though she never heeded any of my suggestions. She was not a mother who pulled her children close to her, in fact, she looked forward to the days when we’d be out on our own and she could fly solo again.
I have a few women friends who adore their mothers, respect and admire them and spend as much time with them as possible. I’ve always envied them; I wish I’d known that closeness.
What’s your relationship like with your mother? And how has it changed over the years?
actthreedotnet 
Autumn Is Like Mid-Life
Posted in baby boomer, baby boomers, career, retirement, spirituality, Uncategorized, tagged Autumn, boomer women, commentary, Creative writing, exercise, new life directions, new life experiences, personal growth, reflection, women over 50, writers, writing on October 27, 2011| 9 Comments »
This bold season feels like a metaphor for mid-life. These are the years when many of us leave our professions behind to re-invent new lives. To discover new passions, friends, experiences. And in many ways I feel more alive now than the days I was engrossed in my paid working hours.
Work life was thrilling for me yet was surprisingly predictable in its unpredictability. Make sense? Every day we had a new show to produce or stories to write or projects to continue with the same constraints to face and paradigm to follow. Every morning I knew what my office hours were likely to be.
Now each day offers a blank canvas to paint whatever picture comes to mind (metaphorically speaking since I don’t paint).
And I can invent what my next years may look like. I’ve grown my hair longer, dropped a few pounds and have become quite active through bicycling, horseback riding, hiking and attending more yoga classes. I feel like I’m on the cusp of something new.
Is autumn to winter as mid-life is to old age? Could this time period be our final hurrah?
Share this:
Read Full Post »