Through the front door there’s a great view of a decked out Christmas tree basking in white lights, covered with snow and dripping with big sparkly white round ornaments. A white Christmas is definitely being celebrated in this house. But the mood is somewhat blue.
My hospice patient and her caregiver husband live here. They’re both seniors and have spent most of their lives together – working their family business and traveling in the RV in which they expected a multitude of road trips during their retirement years.
Four years ago husband sold the RV; wife could no longer negotiate the steps to assume her role as navigator in chief. That act signified an admission of his wife’s fatal disease and the death of dreams that had been years in the planning. That was also the last year she spoke; she hasn’t uttered a word since. Not because she was disappointed, but because her Alzheimer’s had advanced enough to rob her of voice. Now husband spends his days taking care of her.
Decorating the Christmas tree is something they always did together. In fact, she bought this very tree and the ornaments. It came adorned with white lights and snow. This year they decorated together again. He set it up, he added the balls, covered the tree base, wrapped the presents and carefully arranged them at the bottom. Wife slumped in her chair, sucked her lower lip, wrung her hands and nodded off. That’s this year’s Christmas, at least until his children join them in a couple of weeks.
Husband cherishes wife. She’s the love of his life and when she was diagnosed 8 years ago he promised he’d care for her until the end of her days. He meant it, despite the sacrifice it entails.
Being housebound is one of those sacrifices, except for my weekly visits to socialize with him and sit with her during the couple of hours he goes where he wants. His spirits are high, he laughs easily, he loves big. He embodies the true spirit of giving. And when he allows himself to think of how things were supposed to be, the twinkle in his eye grows dimmer.
He inspires me. He fills me with admiration. What inspires you this season?
























